I want to fill in a little more background information on what I'm going through before moving forward into what is happening now and some of the things I've accomplished for myself.
Backward
Honestly at first I was really hateful that my wife would cheat on me with an ex-boyfriend of hers. At the time I would have been happy if she'd fallen off a cliff or ended up dead due to some horrible, random, accident. I got over it with time. When I say I got over it I mean that I don't hate her anymore.
Does that mean that I've forgiven what she's done?
Yes and no. I've come to terms with it but it doesn't mean that I've completely forgiven her for it and I truly don't know if I ever will. I was incredibly happy with her and 'our' family (there are reasons that I will explain in a future post for our being tagged). I loved her and truly enjoyed the time I spent with her. When I found out what she had done and what she was continuing to do I crushed me. It really hurt me bad. To her it was a big joke, she laughed and joked about what she was doing, writing email messages on how horribly fun it is to do what she was doing.
It was very difficult for me to understand and even now I don't entirely get it, I'm not sure if I ever will.
Today though I'm good. I still get hit every so often with some pain from what she did, the good ol' ego sticking it to me I suspect. I deal with it though, I try and find the positive and work my way around it.
Forward
More recently I've made a few accomplishments in my life that I am proud of.
Firstly, I cooked dinner, a decent dinner that wasn't over done, or under done or that I had to rely on someone else to finish for me. In the past if I was asked to make dinner I'd start it up and watch it for a little bit then I'd go and sit down and the wife would finish it up for me. Now that that is not longer the case I was actually quite surprised at what I did and that I was able to do it properly.
The first actual dinner I made was the other night (Sunday night) and was a simple salad with Italian dressing as the starter, with green beans and veal cutlets as the main course. I was proud of myself for putting it together with few problems and the little guy really enjoyed the food. Since then I've gone on to number two with salad (can't skip out on the greens) with honey garlic chicken thighs and corn pieces. I'm not finding cooking as scary as I once used to.
I've also now made it through my first full week of living on my own and by my own hand. I've done some parenting and am getting back on track as far as keeping him in check for his behavior.
As for the apartment, there are still a number of things that I need to do and that I want to get done but that's more a matter of money than anything else. For the main points I've got what I need to keep things going and to create a solid base to move upward from.
Before it comes up as a question (by anyone who might potentially read this) not all my backward information is going to be about my ex-wife. I do want to put some of the information about what I went through with her up so that my past emotions are shown for what they were, at the same time I want to show how they've changed (if they've changed) with where I am now.
Peace,
ClX
Backward
Honestly at first I was really hateful that my wife would cheat on me with an ex-boyfriend of hers. At the time I would have been happy if she'd fallen off a cliff or ended up dead due to some horrible, random, accident. I got over it with time. When I say I got over it I mean that I don't hate her anymore.
Does that mean that I've forgiven what she's done?
Yes and no. I've come to terms with it but it doesn't mean that I've completely forgiven her for it and I truly don't know if I ever will. I was incredibly happy with her and 'our' family (there are reasons that I will explain in a future post for our being tagged). I loved her and truly enjoyed the time I spent with her. When I found out what she had done and what she was continuing to do I crushed me. It really hurt me bad. To her it was a big joke, she laughed and joked about what she was doing, writing email messages on how horribly fun it is to do what she was doing.
It was very difficult for me to understand and even now I don't entirely get it, I'm not sure if I ever will.
Today though I'm good. I still get hit every so often with some pain from what she did, the good ol' ego sticking it to me I suspect. I deal with it though, I try and find the positive and work my way around it.
Forward
More recently I've made a few accomplishments in my life that I am proud of.
Firstly, I cooked dinner, a decent dinner that wasn't over done, or under done or that I had to rely on someone else to finish for me. In the past if I was asked to make dinner I'd start it up and watch it for a little bit then I'd go and sit down and the wife would finish it up for me. Now that that is not longer the case I was actually quite surprised at what I did and that I was able to do it properly.
The first actual dinner I made was the other night (Sunday night) and was a simple salad with Italian dressing as the starter, with green beans and veal cutlets as the main course. I was proud of myself for putting it together with few problems and the little guy really enjoyed the food. Since then I've gone on to number two with salad (can't skip out on the greens) with honey garlic chicken thighs and corn pieces. I'm not finding cooking as scary as I once used to.
I've also now made it through my first full week of living on my own and by my own hand. I've done some parenting and am getting back on track as far as keeping him in check for his behavior.
As for the apartment, there are still a number of things that I need to do and that I want to get done but that's more a matter of money than anything else. For the main points I've got what I need to keep things going and to create a solid base to move upward from.
Before it comes up as a question (by anyone who might potentially read this) not all my backward information is going to be about my ex-wife. I do want to put some of the information about what I went through with her up so that my past emotions are shown for what they were, at the same time I want to show how they've changed (if they've changed) with where I am now.
Peace,
ClX
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