Upcoming Difficulties

A challenge that is rapidly approaching me is the new school year, more specifically the new school year for my son.
Why? Would be the obvious question someone outside the situation would ask.
Simple.  Work.
My job is a shift work job.  A security guard is on a shifting schedule and this is where it makes my life difficult.  There is only one shift of the 3 possible I will get on a schedule that will allow me to properly handle my son, the Night shift.  I'm in a position where I'm going to have to request to be permanently put on the Night shift.  This is where things become a concern.  If the answer is 'no' to being permanently put on Nights then I'm going to have to put some serious push into finding a new job.  It was something that was inevitable to begin with since becoming a single father, this would just be an accelerant to that end.
In order for the Night shift to work I would essentially put get up in the morning, put my son on his bus, go back to bed, get up in the afternoon to get him off the bus and then stay up until I had to go to work.  When I had to leave for work I'd take him over to my mom's place for bed.  Though there is concerns with him spending significant time with my mom and the stress it would have on her (seeing as she only came out of the Hospital a week ago) by him only going over to her place for bed it eliminates a lot of problems for her.  I'd go to work, when I got off I'd go home and prepare what he needed for school, then perhaps sleep for an hour or two, then get up and head over to my mom's place to get him up and get him going for school.
Now, lets say that I do get the 'ok' to be on permanent nights.  There is an additional concern on top of the shift work.  Hours.  Not hours as in the hours I will be at work, more along the lines of the hours on my paycheck.  Currently we have 11 guards.  Ideally we only need 10 but due to a number of last minute surprises over the last 2 months we've gone with the option of an additional guard to cover.  With that in place it cuts down the number of hours that each person is able to get.  On my latest schedule I'm looking at top of 32/week, which is not bad but at the same time there is a week where I'm only getting 24 hours which is a hurt considering I pay $600 for rent, it means that I'm going to have to carry some reserve over from a previous pay check to cover rent which means that things are going to get really trim when it comes to needs.
Going backwards for a minute, to the 3 available shifts I can get on a given schedule the reason the Day or Evening shifts won't work is primarily because of the times they take place.  Day shift is 5am - 1pm, it would mean that someone would have to take my son overnight and then get him onto the bus or get him to school.  Evening shift is 1pm - 9pm, this would mean that someone would have to be able to get him off the bus and then hold on to him until I'm done work at 9pm.  The biggest problems with them and finding someone to fill that gap is that I am unable to rely on my mom to do this and that finding someone else, such as a babysitter (or sorts) would require me to pay them.  I'm sure I can get some kind of subsidizing but at the same time with things getting thin as far as my pay checks are concerned it would just be something else that is chipping away at what I've got available to me.
I do know that no matter what the outcome is on if I can go permanently to Nights or not I'm going to have to find some way, in the end, of getting a different job with better hours (and better pay preferably) or finding a way to supplement my Income.
This could be an avenue for my writing, to really push it further than I have previously but that is a topic for my other blog.

Peace,

ClX

Where am I going?

Another in a series of topics that I'd like to delve into with more depth later on but at current rate am only setting up.  You see how I'm doing that right, like a good run of TV shows, you set up things at some point, let the viewers forget about it then out of nowhere pull a swerve and jump into a new storyline with a long forgotten topic.
Well that's not exactly how I'm doing things, its mostly off the cuff, written as I see fit, when I see fit.

So...where am I going??
This is in life, not as in right now (that would be quite obvious I should think).
The above question is something that everyone does have to eventually ask themselves at some point in their life.  For single fathers (and mothers...this is an equal opportunity question mind you) this can come much quicker than you expect.
If you're already in a career then you may not have a lot to think about, if you like your career and it wasn't a 'help with the income cause you have to do something' type of job then your good to go.  If, on the other hand, it was just a 'help with the income for lack of anything else to do' then you may be in trouble.
As for myself the life of a security guard is not very glamorous, has not benefits and not really any upward future.  It is very much a dead end job that is best for old retired military men needing to get away from their wives for a few hours or fresh faced young adults who've just graduated from a college Corrections course or Police Foundations and need something to show they have been 'paying their dues' before getting pulled into a police academy.
For me, someone with a Television/Video diploma this is really not providing me any benifit at all.
So what options do I have??  I have taken a look at the local Job Bank and aside from knowing there is slim pickings it also shows me that just about anything I get at this point is going to be as dead end as what I am doing now.
There is the back to school option for something else but with that I have a two fold problem, ensuring that my school doesn't conflict with my son's school schedule, there is also the problem of OSAP and getting funded for going back to school.
At this point going back to school is out.  I'm honestly not fully sure what I'd take if I did go back.
There is online and correspondence schooling, that is a better option but again there is the issue of funding/paying for it as with my current job things are already sliced toward the thin side of things.
Can't move too far forward in a job unless you have the proper schooling in order to show that you have the upper qualifications in order to advance.
Perhaps this is where a juggling act comes into play.  Doing what you have to do to keep the costs of life as low as possible in order to get the funds aside you need to get back to school, while at the same time keeping your current job and maintaining a healthy relationship with friends and family all the while paying off the recurring bills you have.
Again this comes back to the job.  If you don't have a job that will allow you to take home something each paycheck that can be put away then you will encounter a lot of problems in moving yourself forward.

I hope I've put something out there to be though about.  I know that in reality this is only just scratching the surface and that it is a topic that can easily come up and be deepened in more posts to come.

Peace,

ClX

Home Again

My little guy just arrived home yesterday afternoon after having been away at my sister and her boyfriend's place since last Friday.
From the descriptions they gave me there were a few difficulties with him this time around.  He had been there earlier in the summer, right around the time I did the move into the new apartment, it was helpful then so that I could get everything taken care of and be in the new place by the time he got home.  This time around things were different.  Normally when he's with them he's semi-spoiled, which is fine, every kid needs a little of that now and then.  The way things worked this time was that they worked more toward a parent side of things with him.  They let him get away with less than he normally would have and, for the most part, stuck to the rules/guidelines that I have in place for him.

The reason behind the difference this time around, with them, was due to my mom being in the hospital.  They stepped in as an assistance to me, with the separation that I was still trying to find the proper balance from, mom being in the hospital and my job they felt it would be good to take him for a few days but keep on him with the 'house rules'.  It's a step to try and balance him in a way, they (and I) didn't want inconsistency at this point, especially with the changes that have taken place so rapidly over the last couple of months in my (and his) life.
They discovered that the parenting game is a little harder than they expected and that kids can sometimes be crafty.  There were a few time that they had issues with him eating food that they gave him for meals and then later in the day trying to trick them into giving him a treat, standard stuff for most parents but for the unprepared parent it can throw a wrench into your discipline tactics.
There was a point when my sister called me to ask what would be best to do with a kid who had been sitting at the kitchen table for an hour staring at a piece of French Toast, unwilling to eat it.  I told her what I'd do (a. either let him sit there until he ate it, or b. take it away but ensure that he got nothing other than water 'till lunch...even if he goes over to someones house and they try and give him a treat). 
From what her and her boyfriend told me and from what I've seen in his behavior since he got back I'm pleased.  I'm also pretty sure that this whole experience has cemented to both my sister and her boyfriend that they don't want to have kids of their own.
Regardless of the experiences they had over the last few days they are still more than willing to be his God Parents, from what I've seen I think they would fill the post quite well.

Peace,

ClX

Things you don't want to hear

I seem to be randomly jumping all over the place as far as topics go.  It can be a bit unnerving if you (or anyone) happens to be following this blog.  For that I'm sorry.  I do have the full desire to get this into a regular habit and, not to make an excuse, there are a lot of things that I'm trying to get sorted out before I can get into making this a regular and ongoing blog.

There was something that happened the other day that has been rolling around in my head for a little while now and was bugging me to no end, to the point where I feel I need to make a post about it.
Its about the ex (duck and cover, works for nuclear bombs apparently), or the ex-wife or she who shall not be named (if the case may be).  There are a lot of guys/girls out there who have problems or difficulties with their ex(s).  There are also some out there who get along with their ex and there are others still who are very close friends with their ex.  At this point I fall into the 'I get along with my ex' category.  For reasons I don't want to get into I find it difficult to look far enough ahead to say I can graduate up to the 'I'm very close to my ex or bff' stage.  I though I'd be in that last stage with her but I'm beginning to see that that is not quite the case.
Now the stage I'm in with her plays an important role in this topic.  The other day my ex dropped by my apartment, she was in town and needed a pause in the running around she was doing.  Not a problem.  We chatted a little bit, she asked about how my mother was doing, how my little guy was, talked about work and some other general conversation.  Where things got uncomfortable for me was when she said that she was in town because she had a bladder infection.  Now that statement wasn't uncomfortable it was what followed it that was where my stomach turned.  She said normally bladder infections are cause by having sex, which pushes bacteria up 'there'.  She went on to overly affirm that she isn't and hasn't been having sex.
Looking back at that point I should have asked her to leave at that point.  I'm really not interested in knowing if she is or isn't having sex or/and seeing anyone.  It's not even the fact that we've only been separated a month it is more the fact that it's a subject that I don't feel is appropriate to bring up in my presence.  That kind of information is precisely why I'm trying to keep her at a distance.  I still care a lot for her, at the same time I also have a lot of unresolved feelings toward things that she did during in/to our marriage.  I don't honestly know if I will ever be able to talk to her about relationships outside of the one her and I had, I just think its not something I'd deal with properly.  I would keep having flashes of jealousy or anger, resentment, toward the fact that our marriage dissolved.
I do want to be her friend but at the same time when things like what happened the other day come up I really have to stop and consider if it is really worth while to be her friend, especially when I'm putting my own happiness at stake for it.

Peace,

ClX